The illusions of the disillusioned

(Monday musings)

Something I learned rather late in life is that healing and wholeness never take place until we accept the truth, no matter how painful or sad the truth may be. I've seen it in my own life, as I've struggled with accepting my own failings and limitations and the limitations of people who are important to me. And I've seen it proved true many times in the lives of those I've counselled. Whether the healing required is emotional, physical or spiritual, the first bitter medicine that has to be applied is always the truth.

Most of us prefer to live with our illusions. We want to believe that our emotions are always appropriate, our motives are always pure, our bodies are strong and are going to last forever, no matter how we treat them.
We want to believe that athletes never use drugs, that politician from 'our' side of politics never lie, that religious leaders never feel or gratify lust, that businesses never sell us faulty or dangerous products.
When our illusions about ourselves are shattered, we feel sadness, shame and anxiety. It may take us a while to accept the truth, deal with reality, and start to change. When our illusions about others are destroyed, we feel betrayed and angry. We are 'dis-illusioned.'

At the moment we live in a very dis-illusioned society. Every day seems to bring more news of fallen heroes, guilty gods and godesses. The question is whether we will accept the truth, and recognise that our illusions were doing us more harm than good. Will we accept that we had put people on pedestals that couldn't support them. Or will we simply lash out at whoever comes within reach, until our anger subsides and we find some new illusions, some new idols.

It's not that we shouldn't have high expectations of those who are in positions of influence or power. Those who betray the trust society places in them should be called to account. But that needs to be done in a calm, legally-sanctioned manner, by the appropriate people. As a society we need to be careful that we are punishing the crimes or misdemeanors of which the offenders are guilty, not raging against their failure to be the perfect people we wanted them to be.

The rest of us need to ask what it was about ourselves that made us put such faith in mere human beings. Why did we cling to our illusions for so long? And how are we feeding the illusions of others who put us on pedestals and ask us to be their role models, their heroes, their ideals? We all need a regular dose of truth, but will we take it?