Leaping in the dark

Are you afraid of letting God get a grip on you? Do you stand at a distance, too scared to let him get close? Do you fear what he might do with you, or ask you to do, if you handed over your life to him?

In one sense, we should all be afraid of God. We should never underestimate his power and awesomeness. It is a dreadful thing to fall, unprepared, into the hands of the living God.

But it's not this reverent fear which holds many of us back from putting ourselves fully in God's hands. Our fear comes from other sources.

Some fear losing control. They've had unpleasant experiences of being controlled and manipulated by others. Perhaps they've been through a time where life was chaotically out of control and they've vowed (often subconsciously) never to let that happen to them again. They want to believe God can be trusted, but there's a dreadful emotional barrier in the way.

Some would like to be closer to God, but they're already committed to serving someone or something else - their career, their reputation, their parents or spouse, an ideology, an organization or a secret society. They're unwilling to depose their idol, and God allows no rivals.

Half-heartedness is sometimes a mask for laziness. While I continue to serve God on my terms, I can set limits to how much time and effort I give him. Being a paid servant is one thing, becoming a slave of Christ is quite another. But fear can also cause half-heartedness - what if God asked me to do more than I could cope with? What if I never achieve the things I want to achieve because I'm too busy doing God's work?

Satan uses our fears to keep us at a distance from God. He tells us God doesn't have our best interest at heart. He keeps the word "fanatic" fresh in our minds. He holds us over a dark abyss and whispers "This is faith. Do you really want to jump?"

Jesus calls to us, "Follow me". But where? What will happen along the way? Putting all our trust in him can seem like a leap in the dark, until we understand how he proved his trustworthiness on the cross. If you are afraid to trust your life to God, or know that he's asking you to trust him more, talk to another Christian about it and ask them to pray with you. The only truly safe place in the universe is in God's hands.

Photo by Mitchell Hartley on Unsplash

Fools for Christ

I spent a morning recently wandering over the Internet, chasing the theme of "fools for Christ". It had occurred to me that this was an important aspect of what freedom in Christ means. Those who are truly free are happy to appear foolish in the world's eyes for his sake.

Perhaps it was a result of reflecting on the difference between what I see in myself and something I perceived in a young woman I heard speaking at a morning tea recently. She and her husband and their children live and work in China, and were about to return there after a break. So much of what she said about hearing and obeying God would seem foolish even to Christians, let alone non-Christians. And yet she seemed so close to God, and he ministers through her and others like her so powerfully. Nothing stands in the way of loving obedience to her Lord. She aroused that "Whatever she's got, I want it" feeling in me, and I suspect, in others who heard her.

"But" we ask, "how can we be like her when we have homes to look after, children to educate, careers to keep up, mortgages to pay?" And the answer is, she could have all those concerns too, if she chose to. She chooses not to. She and her husband live in rented accommodation, teach their children themselves, and do whatever they believe God is calling them to do. Sometimes they make mistakes and mis-hear him, they acknowledge that. But most of the time they live in a very intimate way with him. They are utterly convinced of his love and care for themselves, their children and for those around them. Their life is difficult, and yet it's also a grand adventure. Their children know nothing else, so feel no loss, as far as I can tell. They're free people.

Perhaps too, I was reflecting on what Luther said about the Christian already having all that he (or she) needs, so they have no need to seek things for themselves. They are free to expend all their energies on 'being Christ' to others.

Here is the truly Christian life, here is faith really working by love, when a man applies himself with joy and love to the works of that freest servitude in which he serves others voluntarily and for nought, himself abundantly satisfied in the fulness and riches of his own faith....

Thus from faith flow forth love and joy in the Lord, and from love a cheerful, willing, free spirit, disposed to serve our neighbour voluntarily, without taking any account of gratitude or ingratitude, praise or blame, gain or loss. Its object is not to lay men under obligations, nor does it distinguish between friends and enemies, or look to gratitude or ingratitude, but most freely and willingly spends itself and its goods, whether it loses them through ingratitude, or gains goodwill. For thus did its Father, distributing all things to all men abundantly and freely, making His sun to rise upon the just and the unjust. Thus, too, the child does and endures nothing except from the free joy with which it delights through Christ in God, the Giver of such great gifts.

My Internet trawling led me first to an article about the place of the holy fool in history and literature, with many other leads that I could follow there. Another site quoted Os Guiness about what it means to be a fool for Christ.

I also came across material on Dorothy Day, and the Catholic Workers' movement in New York during the depression, which I'd never heard of before but which is quite fascinating. Dorothy Day described herself as a "fool for Christ", unconcerned about what others thought about her, because only God's opinion mattered.

This is a facet of freedom that I would like to follow further.

This post is one of a series on what it means to be free in Christ:

Free in Christ - introduction

Choosing the right master

God's freedom and ours

Jesus and freedom

Going beyond personal freedom

Freed from the fear of death

Fools for Christ

Reputations