Christians and stress (part 2)

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay 

Dealing with stress

Relaxation techniques, attention to diet and exercise, time-management strategies, voluntary simplicity and community building are all valid and useful ways of reducing the stress in our lives. However, as Christians we must also deal with two underlying issues—fear and lack of focus.

Fear

So much of our busy-ness and sense of overload is due to fear; fear of failure, fear of being rejected, fear of loss, fear of illness and death, fear of losing control. Yet often we don't even recognise the fears that drive us. 

Both Christians and non-Christians may be driven by a subconscious fear of God. In the unbeliever this could even be a positive drive. In a Christian, it can only be due to an inadequate grasp of what salvation means. God may call us to be busy for him, but busy-ness can easily become our own attempt to win God's favour, if we don't understand that we are totally forgiven and accepted already. Jesus has completed that task, with nothing for us to add.

The key to overcoming all of these fears is to know what scripture says about them—really know, with our hearts as well as our heads. We can only do this by reading the bible consistently and prayerfully. Then we need to put what we have read into practice, as a conscious act of will. "God is my salvation, I WILL trust and WILL NOT be afraid, (my emphasis). 

Freedom from fear is not something we are likely to achieve in an instant.  Each time we become fearful again, we need to recognise it, ask for forgiveness and grace, then begin afresh. Other Christians are an invaluable and God-given source of encouragement in this.

Focus

Lack of focus in our lives results in us being pulled this way and that by competing demands and desires. We may have many different goals, all of them apparently good, but often quite contradictory. For instance, “I must spend more time with my family” and “I must work as hard as I can to get the promotion I deserve”. As a result we begin to feel fragmented.

Christians are not immune from this. Often we simply add a few spiritual goals to the rest rather than refocusing our lives.

Fear and lack of focus are obviously related. If I fear something (or someone) one of my goals will be to avoid or overcome the thing I fear. If I have many fears, I will have many different goals, and my mental, physical and emotional energies will be scattered in all directions. 

Jesus had focus

Jesus had only one focus in life; the kingdom of God, for the glory of God. He called his followers to be equally single-minded. "Seek first (God's) kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things (i.e. material needs) will be given you as well", (Matthew 6.33).

"Yes, but Jesus didn't have a job, or mortgage, or a family to worry about. He could afford to be single minded," we might reply. I don't think Jesus was calling us to abandon these things (though sometimes he does.) Rather, we are to look at them all in the light of the kingdom of God. 

The work we do is to contribute to building God's kingdom, whether we preach sermons, design cars or wash dishes. Our house is to be a part of God's kingdom, received with thanks, used for his service and given up if he asks that of us. Our children are to be raised for God's kingdom, not by brow-beating them, but by drawing them into it. If they choose to go another way, our focus is still to be God's kingdom. 

Our hobbies, our clothes, our friendships, our money, our possessions, our relationship with our in-laws, our health, all are to be seen in the light of God's kingdom.

When we look at Jesus' life, as described in the gospels, we can see the effects of being focused. Jesus had compassion on the crowds who followed him about, and healed many who were sick. Yet at times he would walk away from them in order to pray or teach his disciples. He was not driven by a need to be popular, or to (literally) cure all the world's ills. 

Jesus did not try to do everything himself. He taught his disciples, then sent them out in pairs to teach and heal. He shared his concerns with them. He entrusted the future church to them. He was not driven by the need to keep power to himself or to appear super-human.

Jesus had no hesitation in openly criticising or correcting those who were straying from the truth. He continued his ministry despite the growing opposition of the authorities. Fear of man did not come between him and his goal of bringing about the kingdom of God.

In prayer Jesus maintained the same focus. "Father, may your name be hallowed, may your kingdom come, may your will be done," (Matthew 6:9). The needs of the day followed on from this, not as though they were trivial, but placed in their true context. "Give us this day our daily bread." Through prayer, Jesus received the strength and direction he needed to stay focused.

Jesus certainly didn't live a gentle, stress-free life. He experienced tiredness, grief, pressure from the crowds, misunderstanding from his disciples, harassment from the religious authorities and ultimately betrayal, torture and death. Yet always he seemed to be in control, steady in his purpose and sure of where he was going. His resurrection is our assurance that in the end he reached his goal.

Being focused in this way, while it may seem difficult at first sight (and impossible without the help of the Holy Spirit) would surely enable us to simplify our lives and overcome the fragmentation we so often experience.

Perhaps that is what Jesus meant when he said "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11.28-30.)

(Part 1 can be found here)

Christians and stress (part 1)

(This article and the one that follows were written many years ago. I've decided to republish them here in the hope that they may be helpful to someone.)

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

What is stress?

In physics, "stress" can refer to the pressure applied to an object, or it can describe the internal resistance of the object itself. When people speak of being "stressed" there is a similar ambiguity. 

Stress, in the sense of an applied pressure, is not always detrimental. Stress can motivate us to begin and complete tasks. However, what most people mean by "stress" is a sense of being overwhelmed and overloaded. They feel as if their internal resistance is at breaking point.

Life has been difficult for most people throughout history. We could dismiss the view that our own lives are increasingly stressful as trendy self-pity. Yet the social and personal cost of stress is great.

What causes stress?

In simple terms, when we are threatened or in danger, our bodies produce chemicals which prepare us to put up a fight or run away - the so-called fight or flight reaction. 

When the "threat" is an irate customer, a pile of files or a whining child, neither fight nor flight is usually appropriate. So we experience the effect of these chemicals but not the relief of responding to them. What's more, we can learn to feel stressed just by thinking about stressful situations. 

Triggers of stress in our twenty-first century, western lifestyle are many, but include:

• Busy-ness. By the age of four, today's child is likely to be in constant motion, from kindergarten to kindy gym, from music lessons to child care. By the end of primary school, home might well be little more than a place to sleep.The pace is set for adult life.

Christians are certainly not immune from busy-ness, as they try to fit church commitments, bible study and prayer into their already busy lives. Dreams of escaping to a monastic life are not uncommon! Most people realise that they are "too busy", but deciding what activities to cut back is not easy.

• Technological speed. If our activities were limited to those we could carry out within walking distance of home, most of us would have much quieter lives. Our cars allow us to travel long distances in relative comfort, but contribute to our stress. Telephones, fax machines, computers and email also add to the speed of life. 

• Information overload. Most people in the past relied on word of mouth for their information. Much of it was inaccurate, but they had time to integrate what they heard into what they already knew.

Today we are bombarded with information. If we don't recognise that much of it is irrelevant or inaccurate, and learn to be selective, we can feel overloaded and guilty for not keeping up. 

Since good news doesn't sell, we are exposed to a very slanted view of the world through the media. We can become depressed about situations which have no bearing on our own lives and which we can do nothing about.

• False expectations. Many people in the post-war generation grew up believing that, with work and determination, they could be anything, do anything and have anything they chose. Real life, while being better than most previous generations could have dreamed of, is still disappointing.

In contrast, the following generations often have a sense of hopelessness about the future. The threat of nuclear weapons, pollution, social decay and a belief that life ends at death all rob their efforts of any meaning. They feel as if they are going nowhere.

• Social isolation. We may be able to communicate instantly with almost anyone in the world , but we often have little time to spend face to face with people. Many of our interactions, even with those closest to us, stay at a superficial level. Our mobility prevents us from getting to know our neighbours. As a result, when we're feeling stressed, we have few people to support us, and those who do often feel overloaded themselves.

• The burden of possessions. Compared to most of the world's people, we are materially blessed. However, every purchase we make adds an extra demand on our time to maintain it. We also have to find somewhere to keep it. The more expensive the item, the more likely we are to be anxious about it being stolen or broken.

• The shrinking of time. The smallest period of time mentioned in the bible is an hour. Now we speak blithely about athletes taking 2/100ths of a second off a record. 

People in the past viewed time as something which was created as they lived. It couldn't be "gained" or "wasted". In contrast, we see time as something with a reality of its own, already subdivided into milliseconds and waiting for us to fill it. This puts us under constant pressure to keep up with the clock. The quest for increased productivity has added to this pressure.

• Change. Our nervous systems constantly monitor the world around us. However, our brain only stays consciously alert to things which are changing. (For instance, we don't notice how our clothes feel most of the time.)

We are also unable to focus our attention on more than one thing at once. In order to stay alert to two or more things, we have to switch our attention back and forth.

If we live in an environment which is noisy and fast-moving, we place great demands on our nervous system and brain. It is not surprising that we become jumpy, forgetful and have difficulty concentrating. 

Constant change has been a key feature of the twentieth century. Some changes are superficial. Others have been more profound. The improved status of women, new ways of raising children, altered attitudes to authority and concern about the environment have had a deep effect on how we live and relate to each other. For many, the lack of certainty created by change is stressful. 

In our society it's difficult to avoid all of these pressures (and there are no doubt others). Yet Christians often add another stress of their own—guilt about feeling stressed! They feel that as Christians, they should be living peaceful, stress-free lives. Otherwise, how will they be a living witness to Jesus?

It's true that if we deal with stress by using drugs or alcohol, or by abusing our family, we will not be much of an advertisement to others. Nor are we likely to be believed if we pretend to ourselves and others that we don't experience the same pressures as other people. 

That is not to say that we should make a virtue of being stressed. Paul only "boasted" about his sufferings in order to make a point. (See 2 Corinthians 11:16-30). What we really need is to recognise the stresses in our lives and find constructive, godly ways to deal with them. 

The grace

"May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." (2 Corinthians 13:14)

I once attended a church where the minister would bow his head and intone "The grace of our Lord..." when anyone walked in late, as if the service was about to end. His congregation soon learned to turn up on time! Sometimes the words do seem barely more than a pious version of "See you later".

Yet surely Paul didn't mindlessly scribble the words down as a way of ending his letter to the church in Corinth. He wanted the Corinthians to understand that his apparent harshness with them in his previous letter was not meant to bolster his weak authority, but to build them up and make them more Christ-like. He was deeply hurt by their attitude towards him, and the way they were comparing him to the more charismatic "super apostles".

He made no apology for having disciplined them, but he longed for them to demonstrate that they loved him as he loved them, by living as he had taught them. Rather than concluding simply with "The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you", as he did in many of his other letters, he added an even greater blessing, one which we can all use.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ: God doesn't offer us a life free from weakness and hardship, but grace to demonstrate His power in our lives. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (1 Cor 12:9). It is the same grace which took Jesus through the weakness of death on the cross to the power of the resurrection and victory over sin.

The love of God: In his previous letter Paul had tried to convince the Corinthian Christians that no matter how important the gifts of the Spirit are to the life of the church, they are useless without love (1 Cor. 13). Now he prays that they will experience the source of that love, God himself.

The fellowship of the Holy Spirit: Twice in this letter, Paul refers to the Holy Spirit being given to us as a guarantee of our salvation and future resurrection (1 Cor 1:22, 5:5). To experience the fellowship of the Holy Spirit is to know the assurance of our place in God's kingdom. Our relationship to other Christians then becomes something more than just human fellowship. We are bound to each other by a bond stronger than common beliefs or even family relationship - the presence of the Holy Spirit within us.

Staying power

Poverty, chastity and obedience are the traditional vows of those entering religious orders. Benedict, however, added a fourth vow for his order - stability. Benedictine monks and nuns are expected to remain within the same community for life.

This might seem strange, even harsh to us. We expect to move house and change jobs several times over a lifetime. Our whole society is hooked on the idea that change is progress. We are enticed and cajoled into changing our clothes, our furniture and our cars, not because the old ones have worn out, but because "new is better".

Current wisdom sees no virtue in staying put. If a relationship is no longer satisfying, leave it and find someone more compatible. If the church you attend is a bit dreary or disagreeable, try the one down the road. After all, wasn't Jesus himself a wandering preacher with nowhere to lay his head?

What Benedict recognised was that neither true community nor growth of the individual Christian is possible without some stability. This may not necessarily mean living a lifetime in one place. But we should be slow to move unless we have a clear call to do so.

When Jesus told Peter that he should forgive his brother “seventy times seven’ (Matt 18:21-22), he was surely implying some sort of long-term relationship between the two. It's relatively easy to forgive a petty offence two or three times. To go on forgiving day after day goes beyond our own resources. Even minor irritations become painful sores if they are constantly renewed. By enduring, we not only learn to forgive as God forgives, but we also learn to rely on God for grace to forgive.

When we first join a community we are often enthusiastic. Our relationship to others is positive but superficial. People are kind to us because we are new. After a while, we begin to feel disillusioned. We're no longer given special attention. We discover that these people have all the usual human faults and weaknesses. Sometimes our relationships with others become quite difficult or painful. It is tempting at this stage to leave.

But by leaving we miss the opportunity to become more Christ-like. Love which is patient, not easily angered, keeps no score of wrongs, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres (1 Cor 13) takes time and adversity to develop. By moving on we also miss the opportunity to become part of a community in which we are accepted as we really are.

(This article originally appeared on "One Candle", my former website. It may be copied (without alteration) for non-commercial use, but please acknowledge its source. Photo copyright Stella Budrikis)

Faith, hope and love unite us

May the God of steadfastness and encouragement grant you to live in harmony with one another, in accordance with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 15:5-6

Photo by Riza Nugraha  

In a world where conflict abounds at every level, the ability of Christians to live and work together in unity should be a wonderful testimony to the truth and power of the gospel. Yet Christians are often as bitterly divided as anyone else. The world, the flesh and the devil poison our fellowship.

The world offers us endless distractions from spending time with each other. It encourages gossip while mocking those who try to live out the truth. The world teaches us to be impatient with the weak and those we disagree with, envious of others’ successes, and self-promoting.

The flesh, our human nature, instead of rejoicing in the richness of our diverse personalities and backgrounds, finds difference threatening and prompts us to demand our own way. It holds on to hurts and grievances instead of seeking healing.

And Satan, whose aim is to divide the church and  leave it powerless, uses even what is good to disunite us. When conflicts arise he rejoices, and when we ignore them he is just as happy, since dishonesty is as paralysing as disunity.

But God has provided us with antidotes to these poisons. First, our faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus, which brings us reconciliation with God. Nothing compares in importance to this. In faith we consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus our Lord. (Philippians 3:8)

Second, hope, which lets us forgo having our own way in everything, because we know that we have an eternal future. Though we teach and encourage one another, hope also prevents us from trying to take responsibility for changing one another, since we know that it is the Holy Spirit's work to make each of us more Christ-like.

And finally love, the sort of love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (see 1 Cor 13.) Love like that can only come from God himself. It produces harmony among us and brings him glory.

For all the saints?

In the church calendar October 31 was traditionally All Hallows Eve, the evening before All Saints Day on November 1. It was a time for remembering the dead, both the saints and martyrs (”the hallowed” or holy ones)and loved ones who had died. It may have been timed to coincide with an older pagan festival which marked the onset of winter, although originally All Saints day was in May.

Many ancient cultures believed that on one day of the year the souls of the dead visit this world. Food and drink would be provided to welcome these visitors. Others believed that the unhappy souls of those who had died wandered the earth, or that evil spirits might try to gate-crash the party, so rituals were devised, such as wearing costumes and masks, to ward them off.

In Europe in the Middle Ages, children would go door to door collecting specially baked “soul cakes” in exchange for saying prayers for the dead. During the Reformation the idea of praying for dead souls was dismissed along with the concept of purgatory, but that did little to dampen popular enthusiasm for ancient practices. In England in the 1960’s, “mummers” with blackened faces still came to the door offering to drive evil spirits from the house by humming, for a small donation. Trick or treat is nothing new!

Many Christians see Halloween as a pagan festival that has more to do with Satan than with Christ. Others reject the commercialism or are concerned about the safety of children, physically or spiritually. But how might we find creative ways to remember and reflect on the lives of those who went before us? Rather than condemning our neighbours for their fascination with death, how might we demonstrate in a positive way that Christ has overcome death and Satan?