Christians and stress (part 2)

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay 

Dealing with stress

Relaxation techniques, attention to diet and exercise, time-management strategies, voluntary simplicity and community building are all valid and useful ways of reducing the stress in our lives. However, as Christians we must also deal with two underlying issues—fear and lack of focus.

Fear

So much of our busy-ness and sense of overload is due to fear; fear of failure, fear of being rejected, fear of loss, fear of illness and death, fear of losing control. Yet often we don't even recognise the fears that drive us. 

Both Christians and non-Christians may be driven by a subconscious fear of God. In the unbeliever this could even be a positive drive. In a Christian, it can only be due to an inadequate grasp of what salvation means. God may call us to be busy for him, but busy-ness can easily become our own attempt to win God's favour, if we don't understand that we are totally forgiven and accepted already. Jesus has completed that task, with nothing for us to add.

The key to overcoming all of these fears is to know what scripture says about them—really know, with our hearts as well as our heads. We can only do this by reading the bible consistently and prayerfully. Then we need to put what we have read into practice, as a conscious act of will. "God is my salvation, I WILL trust and WILL NOT be afraid, (my emphasis). 

Freedom from fear is not something we are likely to achieve in an instant.  Each time we become fearful again, we need to recognise it, ask for forgiveness and grace, then begin afresh. Other Christians are an invaluable and God-given source of encouragement in this.

Focus

Lack of focus in our lives results in us being pulled this way and that by competing demands and desires. We may have many different goals, all of them apparently good, but often quite contradictory. For instance, “I must spend more time with my family” and “I must work as hard as I can to get the promotion I deserve”. As a result we begin to feel fragmented.

Christians are not immune from this. Often we simply add a few spiritual goals to the rest rather than refocusing our lives.

Fear and lack of focus are obviously related. If I fear something (or someone) one of my goals will be to avoid or overcome the thing I fear. If I have many fears, I will have many different goals, and my mental, physical and emotional energies will be scattered in all directions. 

Jesus had focus

Jesus had only one focus in life; the kingdom of God, for the glory of God. He called his followers to be equally single-minded. "Seek first (God's) kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things (i.e. material needs) will be given you as well", (Matthew 6.33).

"Yes, but Jesus didn't have a job, or mortgage, or a family to worry about. He could afford to be single minded," we might reply. I don't think Jesus was calling us to abandon these things (though sometimes he does.) Rather, we are to look at them all in the light of the kingdom of God. 

The work we do is to contribute to building God's kingdom, whether we preach sermons, design cars or wash dishes. Our house is to be a part of God's kingdom, received with thanks, used for his service and given up if he asks that of us. Our children are to be raised for God's kingdom, not by brow-beating them, but by drawing them into it. If they choose to go another way, our focus is still to be God's kingdom. 

Our hobbies, our clothes, our friendships, our money, our possessions, our relationship with our in-laws, our health, all are to be seen in the light of God's kingdom.

When we look at Jesus' life, as described in the gospels, we can see the effects of being focused. Jesus had compassion on the crowds who followed him about, and healed many who were sick. Yet at times he would walk away from them in order to pray or teach his disciples. He was not driven by a need to be popular, or to (literally) cure all the world's ills. 

Jesus did not try to do everything himself. He taught his disciples, then sent them out in pairs to teach and heal. He shared his concerns with them. He entrusted the future church to them. He was not driven by the need to keep power to himself or to appear super-human.

Jesus had no hesitation in openly criticising or correcting those who were straying from the truth. He continued his ministry despite the growing opposition of the authorities. Fear of man did not come between him and his goal of bringing about the kingdom of God.

In prayer Jesus maintained the same focus. "Father, may your name be hallowed, may your kingdom come, may your will be done," (Matthew 6:9). The needs of the day followed on from this, not as though they were trivial, but placed in their true context. "Give us this day our daily bread." Through prayer, Jesus received the strength and direction he needed to stay focused.

Jesus certainly didn't live a gentle, stress-free life. He experienced tiredness, grief, pressure from the crowds, misunderstanding from his disciples, harassment from the religious authorities and ultimately betrayal, torture and death. Yet always he seemed to be in control, steady in his purpose and sure of where he was going. His resurrection is our assurance that in the end he reached his goal.

Being focused in this way, while it may seem difficult at first sight (and impossible without the help of the Holy Spirit) would surely enable us to simplify our lives and overcome the fragmentation we so often experience.

Perhaps that is what Jesus meant when he said "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11.28-30.)

(Part 1 can be found here)

The grace

"May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." (2 Corinthians 13:14)

I once attended a church where the minister would bow his head and intone "The grace of our Lord..." when anyone walked in late, as if the service was about to end. His congregation soon learned to turn up on time! Sometimes the words do seem barely more than a pious version of "See you later".

Yet surely Paul didn't mindlessly scribble the words down as a way of ending his letter to the church in Corinth. He wanted the Corinthians to understand that his apparent harshness with them in his previous letter was not meant to bolster his weak authority, but to build them up and make them more Christ-like. He was deeply hurt by their attitude towards him, and the way they were comparing him to the more charismatic "super apostles".

He made no apology for having disciplined them, but he longed for them to demonstrate that they loved him as he loved them, by living as he had taught them. Rather than concluding simply with "The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you", as he did in many of his other letters, he added an even greater blessing, one which we can all use.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ: God doesn't offer us a life free from weakness and hardship, but grace to demonstrate His power in our lives. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (1 Cor 12:9). It is the same grace which took Jesus through the weakness of death on the cross to the power of the resurrection and victory over sin.

The love of God: In his previous letter Paul had tried to convince the Corinthian Christians that no matter how important the gifts of the Spirit are to the life of the church, they are useless without love (1 Cor. 13). Now he prays that they will experience the source of that love, God himself.

The fellowship of the Holy Spirit: Twice in this letter, Paul refers to the Holy Spirit being given to us as a guarantee of our salvation and future resurrection (1 Cor 1:22, 5:5). To experience the fellowship of the Holy Spirit is to know the assurance of our place in God's kingdom. Our relationship to other Christians then becomes something more than just human fellowship. We are bound to each other by a bond stronger than common beliefs or even family relationship - the presence of the Holy Spirit within us.

Holding on to faith

Most of us have probably wondered at some stage whether we can really go on being a Christian until the end of our lives. Our faith seems so weak and wobbly at times.

Perhaps we’ve struggled with doubts about certain doctrines, or felt puzzled and disturbed by something we've read in the Bible. Maybe we’ve tried to share the gospel with others and found ourselves flummoxed by their questions or their negative response.

Or perhaps we’re disheartened by our own lack of discipline in Bible reading, prayer and service. We determine to do better, but soon we get distracted by other things. Some distractions we have no control over, like illness in the family, but sometimes we’re way-laid by trivia. We begin to fear that we’re back-sliding so fast that soon we’ll be unable to hold on to our faith.

Christians in many parts of the world face much harsher threats to their faith. Their fear is that they may denounce Christ under torture, or hide their faith in order not to lose their livelihood. In comparison, our fears seem pathetic. But they are real, nevertheless. We’ve all met people who once were Christians, who now disclaim their faith. We don’t want to become like them.

The fact that we do fear losing our faith is actually reassuring. It’s a sign that the Spirit is still at work within us, otherwise why would we care? But how will we remain faithful?

It’s humbling, yet also heartening, to realise that in the end we remain in Christ because he who called us, and gave us faith to believe in him in the first place, continues to call us and give us faith. He gives us the faith to read, to understand, to pray, to act. He holds onto us when our thoughts are scattered or dreadful, when our reading and praying seem hollow, when we’re weary of doing good. (Phil 1:6)

And he provides faithful people around us to pray for us, and encourage us to keep going. The greatest prayer we can pray for another Christian is “Lord, preserve their faith”.

Christ the divider

This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. (Luke 2:34b-35)

Simeon had waited his whole life to see the promised Messiah. Then one day an unassuming young couple brought their baby into the temple court, and he knew that the moment he had been waiting for had come. This was the child the Holy Spirit had told him about. He was full of joy and thanksgiving.

Yet as he gazed at the baby in Mary’s arms, he also spoke a sombre and prophetic warning. This child would divide people. He would reveal the state of people’s hearts and bring out their real attitude towards God. Those who were truly seeking reconciliation and peace with God would welcome him, but others would hate him and all those who associated with him.

It is worth pondering this through Advent as we look forward to celebrating Christ’s birth at Christmas and wait for his promised return. Christmas has become synonymous with ‘peace and goodwill’. For a few days each year many people seem willing to forget their differences and come together in acts of generosity and kindness. We should rejoice that this is so. 

But speaking the name of Jesus, even at Christmas, still produces animosity and division and shows where people’s hearts are focused. Sometimes Christians provoke a negative response by their own attitude, demanding, for instance, that others “keep Christ in Christmas.” But we should not be surprised that even the most gentle and respectful introduction of Christ’s name produces a mixed response (see 1 Peter 3:15). Simeon’s words are still true and will remain true until Jesus returns. 

Questions about unanswered prayer

What should we do when our prayers seem to go unanswered? Sadly, we often just shrug our shoulders and get on with life. We forget about this prayer and move on to the next one. Our response suggests either that we didn't really care about what we were praying for, or that we don't really expect God to answer our prayers. Either way, we're not praying with the sort of faith that cries "Why, O LORD, do you stand far off?" (Psalm 10.1) or "How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? (Habakkuk 1.2) . Unanswered prayer ought to raise questions in our minds.

Another unhelpful response is to try to conjure up more faith in ourselves when we pray. We try to put ourselves into some state of mind where we're "just believin' that it's gonna happen." This isn't faith in God, it's faith in faith.

A third response is to rationalise. A while ago I read a piece by an atheist mocking Christian's who say "God's answer to prayer may be 'Yes', 'No' or 'Wait'." As he pointed out, you could pray to a bottle of milk and expect to get the same responses. If what you prayed for happened immediately, the bottle's answer is 'yes', if it happened later the bottle's answer is 'wait', and if it never happens, the bottle has answered 'no'. You haven't left any option for saying 'the bottle hasn't answered my prayer'. While there was a major flaw in his argument (no bottle has ever spoken and promised to hear and answer prayer) it has some truth in it.

Of course God does sometimes answer 'no' to our prayers. Sometimes we do have to wait. But I think we should only conclude that the answer is 'no' or 'wait' if God gives us some clear indication to that effect. Other rationalizations include "I'm not a good enough Christian" and "God must be testing me". Again, I think unanswered prayers should raise questions in our minds, but we rationalise when we think out answers to our own questions (or those of other Christians) rather than bringing our questions to God.

Asking "Why, O Lord, do you stand far off?" is not impertinent, if we're prepared to listen to the answer. So along with "Why?", we might prayerfully ask:

Is what I'm praying in line with God's will as he has revealed it in scripture?
Can I really say "In Jesus' name" after this prayer?
Am I doing anything that might be preventing God from answering my prayer? (Of course we're all doing things that are not what God desires, but let the Holy Spirit show you if there is anything specific.)
Is there anything I should be doing? (Again, be guided by the Holy Spirit. This has nothing to do with trying to think up ways to impress God.)
Do I trust that God loves me and has my best interest at heart, even if my prayer is never answered the way I'd like it to be?

The last question is probably the most difficult to answer, and ironically, one that becomes easier to answer positively as our experience of unanswered prayer increases.

The role of the Holy Spirit in prayer

We've seen how prayer involves our relationship to the first two persons of the Trinity. We address our prayers (generally) to the Father, and we pray 'in the name of Jesus', the Son, with all that is implied in that phrase. But what is the role of the Holy Spirit in our praying?

We would have no relationship with God if it were not for the witness of the Holy Spirit to what God has done for us (John 15:26). It's the Holy Spirit who brings us to repentance and faith (Titus 3:4-7). This is fundamental to our communication with God in prayer. The Holy Spirit's presence in our life then becomes the pledge and seal of our place in God's kingdom life (1 John 4:13).

In our new relationship with God, it's the Holy Spirit who enables us to experience the love of God (Rom 5:5) and to address him as Father (Gal 4:6). Sometimes this seems so natural to those who have been Christians for a while that we forget just how strange it really is, and how privileged we are to be in such a position. The Spirit also helps us to know what it means to be a child of God, in all its wonder (1 Cor 2:9-12). It is a good practice to ask the Holy Spirit to remind us of who we are in Christ and what God has done for us before we pray.

It's also good to ask the Holy Spirit to show us what and how to pray, so that we are truly praying 'in Jesus name' and in step with God's will. One of the roles of the Holy Spirit is to show us what to pray. But the Spirit also prays for us, particularly at times where we are unable to shape our thoughts into words (Rom 8:26-27). When our desire to pray far outweighs our ability to pray, our relationship with God is not severed, but kept alive by the Holy Spirit.

Sometimes the Holy Spirit conveys messages from God to those who are praying. In Acts 13:2, for instance Luke records that 'while they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” ' Sometimes he equips people for the work that God has provided for them to do through prayer (Acts 4:31). Often he reminds us of God's words in scripture as we pray.

Our prayers and the work of the Holy Spirit in the world appear to have a complementary role. Paul tells the Philippians that 'through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance' (Phil 1:19).

As the Holy Spirit is active in our life, we become more like Jesus. He produces in us the 'fruit of the Spirit' - love, joy, peace, patience and so on (Gal 5:22). These qualities then affect the way we relate to God and to other people and influence the way we pray. Clearly, then, the Holy Spirit plays a vital role in our prayers, and our life in relationship to the triune God.

Why pray?

Prayer takes time - time that could be spent doing other activities. Often it takes effort, perseverance, maybe even courage to pray. Sometimes it seems pointless or frustrating. It can feel as though we're talking to the walls. Meanwhile, the people around us seem able to live their lives quite successfully without praying at all. So why should we pray?

I can think of many reasons. Prayer is God's way of allowing and enabling us to relate to him. Prayer acknowledges our dependence on him. Prayer brings us together with other Christians in fellowship. Jesus promises his presence amongst those who pray together.

Prayer is a form, perhaps the form, of spiritual warfare. In prayer, the Holy Spirit helps us by interceding for us in ways we're barely aware of (Rom 8.26). Prayer helps to keep us in line with God's will and in some mysterious way helps to bring about God's will on earth.

As Christians - followers of Christ Jesus - two of our most important reasons for praying come from Jesus himself. Jesus prayed, and he encouraged his disciples to pray. We are called to honour Jesus as Lord and to become more like him. Prayer is essential to both those callings.

Jesus prayed. Sometimes we're told the content of his prayers. At other times we're only told that he spent time in prayer - often many hours. His life seemed to follow a pattern of withdrawing from the world for a while to pray, followed by a time of activity. He prayed out of gratitude (Matt 11:25) and out of anguish (Matt 26:39). He prayed for himself and for his disciples. He prayed for us (John 17:20). To be like Jesus is to pray.

The Jews were a prayerful people, but something about the way Jesus prayed caused his disciples to beg him to teach them to pray. And he did teach them, both by word and by example. He told them to pray for those who abused and persecuted them (Matt 5:44). He told them to pray to God for more labourers for the harvest. (Matt 9:38) He taught them to pray and not lose heart (Luke 18:1). He said they should pray with humility, privately, with their eyes on God and not on others. He said they should pray in faith. To be a disciple is to learn to pray.